Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Dieting Under Stress (no substitutions)

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

Breakfast 1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
6 oz. skim milk

Lunch 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 oreo cookie

Afternoon Snack Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Nuts, cherries, whipped cream

Dinner 2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
Lg. Sausage, mushroom & cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 lg. pitcher beer
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars

Late Evening News Snack Entire frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from freezer


1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3. when you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast & Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal ful, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off of knives and spoon have no calories in the process of making something. For example, peanut butter licked off the knife while making a sandwich.

Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach & pistachio ice cream, mushrooms & white chocolate, NOTE: chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color!

Bloggers note: I wish I could take credit for coming up with and writing this wonderful diet but I got this in an email many years ago. I have no idea who wrote it, but they have a brilliant mind! Many years ago, someone brought doughnuts to my dads office for us. We told her that the doughnuts didn't have any calories...they were all in the holes...and she believed us! No, she wasn't blonde. She went on and on about how she had never heard that and would have to tell her friends. She finally caught onto the joke when we were rolling on the floor laughing. Then we all dove into the doughnuts! (yep, unfortunatley that is a true story...I am just leaving out the name to protect the innocent and gullible)

1 comment:

  1. You had me at first.

    Oh how I wish this diet were true. And that is a funny story about the donuts.